She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It was confusing and full of hummus
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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