Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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