You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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