Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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