I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
