Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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