i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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