Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
