doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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