Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
