oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
