I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
