Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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