But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
