Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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