I just cut my nipple shaving
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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