if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
