Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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