hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
