I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
