R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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