I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
