my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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