Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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