Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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