so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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