By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
