I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
