she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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