One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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