Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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