i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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