Umm I'm too high to move.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
