Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize