whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
