her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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