Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your penis caused this!
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