There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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