i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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