Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
