and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
