I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
