Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
