hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
