If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
