Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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