Her vagina should come with caution tape.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
