We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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