Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
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I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
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I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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