Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My feet surprised me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
