U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
