using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
