I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
