Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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