so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
