I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
