when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
