3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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