my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
FUCK WHALES
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
