Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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