My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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