Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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