I'm really into asian looking animals
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
