Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
