I must be too annoying 4 u.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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