I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
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I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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