This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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