Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
