I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
