wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
